/änˈwē/

noun

a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.

“he succumbed to ennui and despair”

As I sit here trying to think about what I should jot down here, I’m imagining I’m walking in stiff sludge. That’s ennui.

My office is a reflection of me, messy, ignored. I spend much time here. Is it a chicken or egg thing? It’s messy therefore I am. Ego likes this idea. It’s really I’m messy internally ergo all my personal spaced reflect that.

It’s as if I’m practicing music by listening to a metronome.

I continue my practice, look at self, stop blaming externals and do the next indicated right thing.

I have the faith to do without seeing the reward, just because I’m doing the right thing.

When I’m God centered it all works.

When I’m ego centered it’s a mess.

When I’m in doubt about what to do I can make the world better by sitting with an empty mind and let knowing and blessing flow into and through me.

I sit and center myself in the presence of the Beloved I’m called to tasks that fulfill me and serve others.

Trusting, knowing, and heeding the still small voice within my being.

Ennui dissolves when I’m present with the beloved.