The interrelatedness of me with my family is a dance. It’s been a Foxtrot done to Tango music. The steps never synced with the beat, or rarely did.
The composition of the music we danced by was a secret. Much was unwritten and it made dancing complicated and confusing
Eventually we all moved away from each other so we could dance on our own with our partners.
As I began growing spiritually I slowly found my beat. It’s always been a bit tentative but I found a partner who was able to put up with squashed toes and bruised shins. We eventually learned our dance.
Once I was comfortable (kind of) I was able to rejoin the family dance. I had come to the point that I could accept them as human beings working out their own dance. I didn’t have to be influenced by their music and we did find tunes we all could dance to.
My parents have passed but I was able to have a good relationship with them. Though my siblings are scattered I’m at peace with them and enjoy their company when we get together.
I’ve done my inventory and compared it to what I know of theirs. I work on my own stuff and let them do theirs. I love them this way.